PSAT Writing and Language Practice Question 231

Question: 231

SECTION 1:
According to the CDC, or Center for Disease Control, obesity rates have more than tripled since the (11) 80s'. (12) Campains across the nation are calling for attention to (13) address the issue. State laws are going into effect to influence physical education and food moderation for children within the school systems. Doctors are on the lookout for children at risk for obesity and diabetes. (14) There is a whole network forming to help influence those who are affected by the disease or prone to its likelihood.
SECTION 2:
Whether or not children and teens should be allowed to pass on physical education is a topic for debate in regards to the issue. (15) While many school systems allow for students to be exempt from gym class, others argue that there are a host of educational purposes that coincide with the class. (16) Besides the physical activity that influences your daily health, gym class is an arguably necessary mental break from the pressures of classical education. Sitting down at a desk for several hours of the day is proven to be hazardous to your health in the long term. Many (17) simple jobs recommend taking a physical break during the workday to prevent such health risks in their employees. (18) It can't be different for children.
SECTION 3:
In addition to the physical (19) stimulus, schools and educational professionals argue that there is a necessary component of social activity that occurs during gym courses. (20) Kids learn necessary practice for teamwork (21) but build self-confidence amongst their peers while engaging in healthy competitive environments. Allowing for kids to skip out on these fundamentals is more than a risky move for their overall health. Instead, it would be damaging to their personal growth and other classes if they were not given such a vital tool for both their health and education.

What revision is most necessary for this passage?

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